-1

I enjoyed a fun birthday week. Trent told me that is one of my special talents. I can make my birthday last forever ;). Even after all the eating and celebrating, I lost a pound. I think that means I am doing better with portions.

I am past the point of thinking that I can live off of protein shakes forever. I really want to learn to be around food and not be out of control. I also know I do better if I don't buy any junk for the house. It needs to be saved for special occasions when I have saved my calories.

I will keep trying and thinking about my calories and hopefully have a bigger loss next week.

Down ... for now ...

Okay, so this week I weighed in at 226, which is down 5 from my original start weight. However, I am still struggling through our construction to eat regularly. I realized on Friday that I was really hungry. I looked at my watch and saw that it was 3 p.m. and I hadn't eaten lunch. Oops! So, I put a Lean Cuisine in and did a couple of errands ...

Then my hubby and I were finishing up a few errands and realized we'd be eating dinner later than usual. I told him we needed to hurry, because for some reason I was very hungry. Then I thought about what I ate for lunch. Oops. This was the moment I realized my Lean Cuisine was still sitting in the microwave. My microwave beeps intermittently if you don't open it after the timer goes off, but since it's in the garage these days I didn't hear it.

I realized on Saturday I did the same thing with lunch -- went to see Harry Potter at 1 p.m. (Loved it, BTW), and didn't eat lunch until afterwards. What is up with my brain? I'm messing up my metabolism even further!

So, my goal this week is to eat regular meals. Eventually I'll get into having good meals and snacks as well, but while we finish putting our kitchen back together this week I'll focus on eating just 3 meals per day!

Made it through a vacation

Well, I didn't lose this week, but I did maintain. We had a wonderful vacation and then I didn't stick to my calorie count this week, and I didn't gain. That is progress.

My birthday is Monday and I am going out with my sister and Mom. I am going to let myself eat, but then my goal is to get back on track Tuesday. I want a loss soon. I am thinking about all of my portions and trying to make smarter choices.

I have been walking with Trent and with Amber and I am going to try and go up lots of hills pushing the stroller. That is enough to get me breathing heavy.

Gwen, I am so proud of you and I'm sure everyone else is also. Keep being an inspiration.

An Inspirational Story

This is an inspirational thought that I found about another woman's journey through weight loss. It really got to me, and inspired me. I hope this isn't plagiarism, I just thought you could all be inspired by her story of the things she has learned while she took off the weight.

Here's what she had to say:
I have learned that the prison of shame and guilt that I had built was my own creation and that I had the power to tear it down, or to build it up. It is all up to ME.

I had to learn to take personal responsibility for every bite of food that I put into my mouth, and that I had to eat healthy to BE healthy.

I had to learn that you either do IT (diet/exercise), or you don't -- there's no middle ground and that life is full of choices and I choose to be happier and healthier with mine.

I learned that I could acknowledge myself in ways other than eating. I no longer have to be an "emotional eater" to do that.

I learned to admit to myself that I was fat and unhealthy because I chose to overeat and I chose foods that were unhealthy and fattening.

I learned I just needed to find a diet plan that worked for ME. For me this is the idiot proof diet plan. Eating the right combination of foods, eating small portions knowing I will eat again in two hours, and eating healthy food was and is my key to success.

I learned that I am not a failure even though I may have "failed" when I dieted in the past.

I have learned that "temptations" along my journey are merely a test to my commitment. And, if I give myself the "gift" of an occasional temptation it makes the journey go much better.

I have learned that losing weight is not the end result but the beginning of a new chapter -- complete with new challenges, commitments and dreams!

I have learned that the journey will NEVER be over for me, that this is just the beginning of another journey to a happier and healthier life full of mountains and valleys, but with the help of all my SparkFriends I will accept the hills and valleys and travel with them...with the knowledge that I CAN continue, and I CAN do this, with their help and support.

-2

Two pounds for this week! I'm beginning to think that the Biggest Loser is really missing out on something by not casting me as a contestant. I'm working pretty hard and having some good success. Imagine how I would do on the ranch where they work out all day with trainers and have no temptations(except for the ones the challenges bring out). I'm pretty sure I would have been one of those people with amazing losses from week to week. Their bad! So maybe I can't inspire a nation of people to lose weight; I'm just happy to have our little blog where we can inspire each other. It makes me proud that Aubrey is to the point were she can post her weight. I believe it's the first step to being accountable for ourselves and helping us to make the steps necessary to change our selves. Good job Aubrey!!!
This week I went shopping with my mom. My baby sister is getting married in August and my mom wants everyone to have dresses in the color's my sister has chosen. Let me tell you that I really do not enjoy shopping for clothes. I have a limited choice of stores because of the size thing, and then nothing ever seems to compliment my shape ( or should I say lack of shape). We found a beautiful dress, but the largest they had was a 14. I decided maybe I would try it on, if it was a little to tight then my thought process was that I could lose the weight to fit into it by my sister's wedding. Needless to say I am not even close. The dress got stuck and I had to have my mom help me take it off. My goal is to someday be out of the plus size, but I have far to go. Hopefully someday I will enjoy shopping.

starting to get on board

Okay, I am ready to post my weight. Big step for me because it is so stinkin high. It also means I am taking this seriously. I wouldn't post it if I didn't mean for it to change. I am 266. Yikes. But when I delivered I was 315. I couldn't believe it myself. At least 20 of that was water, because I dropped 45 pounds in two weeks. My old highest weight was 260. It did get up to 265 but never stayed for more than a few days. My first goal is to get to 240. That is where I was when I was doing Biggest Loser at my rec. center. I was working out and I looked better. From there, down to under 200.

Gwen, and everyone, thank you for the support. I need it right now. I know that I am done having babies and I can really focus on this now. It is so hard, but totally neccesary.

I have had some success with late night eating. I have resisted and gone to bed hungry. My stomach is starting that wonderful process of shrinking. It feels so good. I even went to a family party and ate yummy food. Just ate less earlier in the day and watched my portions. I enjoyed every bite. I still felt hungry at bed time so I don't think I overdid it. It is so good to be in control.

I have a vacation this weekend and I have talked with Trent about splitting all our restaurant meals. I am going to try portion control and enjoy the good food. Hopefully will still have a loss or even just matain. I forgot to add that I did lose 1.5 lbs for the week. I had gained 9 pounds the week of the fourth, but three days of calorie counting had all of that off. Then another day and my 1.5 loss. I even got weighed at the doctors. So, started at 270 and am down to 266.something. Can't remember exactly, but moving in the right direction.

Congrats Gwen and could you send an invite for the blog to my walking partner, Amber. She is working on her last 10 to 15. I know we all wish we were there, but those are the hardest pounds to lose. Her e-mail is amber@leefamily.org

I will be thinking of my upcoming blog post when I sit down to all my yummy food this weekend!

My first 20 lbs.!!!!

I did it!!! I lost my first twenty pounds!!! That's 3 lbs. for the week. My weight today is 230 lbs. I know I have so much further to go, but I am so happy to have taken off that first 20. Now I need to stay focused on the rest of the weight. I want everyone to know that I am making the change for good. My husband will sometimes mention my "diet" and I tell him it's my "lifestyle change". I can't expect to diet for the rest of my life, but I can change how I eat on a regular basis so that I am healthy. My momentum is back. When I stopped to think about the last week when I lost no weight I realize it was that time of the month. I'm sure it had it's affect on my body. This may seem weird, but it's somewhat awesome for me to be able to say it was even that time of the month because as many of you may know I suffer from PCOS and very rarely get my period. Since we have started this journey I have been seeing the results of my body changing itself from within and beginning to reverse the PCOS. The doctors have told me this could happen and I am thrilled to see it is. I know maybe that is to much info for some and some people may think it's strange to be excited to get your period( I've often thought the only other person who would be this excited is someone who suspects they are pregnant but doesn't want to be) but it is thrilling for me to see my body reacting in the ways I want it to. Hope you all have a great week!

Gaining Momentum???

I will keep my fingers crossed on this one. I think I may be starting the downward slope. But, man I'm working my butt off for it. I upped my running to 35 minutes yesterday and even though my weight had edged up last week to 191. You, know holidays and stuff. I'm back at 187 now, so can I post that as a -4? Maybe not. Anyway, I am going to keep it up this week and hopefully have a real negative number to show for it next week. Good luck to you all this week!

ZERO and a loss of momentum

This week I lost zero pounds. I'm just glad I didn't gain any. I have that to feel good about. I'm beginning to have a hard time staying motivated, and have found myself snacking on un-healthy things. One problem is I have caught myself putting off eating at regular times and then feeling so starved that I just want something really delicious to satisfy that hunger. I haven't been keeping very healthy items around the house to eat, and with birthdays and such there has been much more cake and ice cream. The one good thing is that I didn't gain any weight. This tells me that once I do get all the extra weight off, then these kinds of weeks won't be so bad. I need to stay focused on now. Right now I need to not cheat because it derails my whole week. If I can just stick to the plan, and lose the weight I need to then I'm sure a piece of cake, or some popcorn at the movies won't be that bad. While I'm trying to lose the weight they are bad. Working out has been less and less fun as the weeks drag on, and so I am going to try and find some new things to do. I think I have just hit the place where it feels awesome to be losing weight, but the reality of being in it for a long haul is setting in. I can make it past this, I will make it.
This weekend we will be heading to Cedar City. I'm already looking ahead and planning healthy snacks to take with us on the long trip. I think some grapes, maybe nuts and water for me. My favorite road trip snack is Swedish fish and some sort of salty crispy snack like trail mix or chex mix. I can eat all the way there and all the way back if I don't think about it. I will try and be mindful of how much I consume by pre measuring my snacks before we leave. Being healthy can be so much work. I know it will be worth it.
Girls I'm so glad everyone is seeing some sort of success in their journey. Taking the time to get on the treadmill when we don't feel like it, exercising in the tiniest of places, and taking the time to make you a priority are all the building blocks to success. We may have to make small steps in the beginning, but they will take us far in the end.

I want to be a runner!

Gosh, I never thought I'd say that. More and more I am thinking that running is a good way to burn LOTS of calories. This week my goal is to exercise 5 days and to run 3 of those days. Monday I was drugged up in serious dental pain, thanks to a crown that is not being nice to me. But, I got on the treadmill yesterday and for the first time since high school ran for 30 minutes. After the first 10 minutes the pain numbed and it wasn't too bad. I ran 1.8 miles. I'm pretty proud of myself. Maybe it will help me be able to post some negative numbers as well. Good job girls!! You're doing way better than me. Now if I can only get my husband to get up and go to the gym so we're doing the same thing. It will help me focus. And a tip I got from my sister-in-law for those us who don't run because we're afraid we're going to get beat up by our chest. Wear 2 sports bras. I makes things much more stable and comfortable. Anyway-good for you all! I hope to join you soon.

Picture

Yes, I exercised in this itsy-bitsy tiny space: