I'm so happy to see all of you join the group. Reading your posts have inspired me today. Hate to admit it but I called and canceled on Denise for our workout this morning, then I read the recent posts by all of you and I am feeling a little bit guilty. It's funny how much alike we can all be. I hate the camera, I haven't even had a family photo for about seven years because I am waiting until I can look good (which = thinner for me). My poor little boy probably will look back someday and think he was adopted because of the lack of family photo's after he was born. I dislike the way I look, but even more I hate what being fat has done to my body. I was once an active go get it kind of girl. I never was what you might call thin but I was comfortable with myself. I hit around 220 in my early twenties then managed to take it off and I was around 165. Then I got married and had the kiddies. I never gained much weight while pregnant, but in between each pregnancy I packed it on. Three kids later I find my self fat as ever. I hit 255 last year. When we first started the blog and I was serious about taking off the weight I was able to lose 30 lbs. Then I stalled and even gained back five of those pounds. Isn't that the story of my life? Lose some gain some more back. Now is the time to stop that cycle. I'm glad to have your support and honesty in doing this. Being fat is the biggest obstacle I face because it has taken so much away from me. First of all it has taken away my ability to have more children. My youngest had to be conceived with fertility treatments, and when we were ready to have another child we tried them again but it didn't work because I had gained to much weight. So I went to a specialist and he suggested that I lose the weight before trying anything more drastic. Well that was over three years ago and I am still too fat to conceive. I think I have never gone any further in what I was willing to try to conceive because I felt that it was my fault for not being able to control my eating habits and not exercising. Plus I do have three wonderful children, shouldn't I be satisfied with that. Being fat makes me questions myself in so many ways. Mostly that I am not deserving of the things I want most and so I have stayed closed up in my house eating my way to even more guilt. Only recently have I broke out of that shell a little bit. I went back to school to pursue my degree in nursing. Even in this adventure I find myself questioning what I am doing. Whenever the issue of weight or nutrition is brought up in my classes( they are brought up a lot ) I feel a sense of shame. How could someone like me be a nurse, a person who is supposed to be a representative of health care? This might sound outrageous but I wonder sometimes if the professor is looking at my directly when these issues are brought up. Maybe my own insecurities with being fat. But I took the leap to go back to school and I have been wonderfully full filled with the experience, and very successful. So now I need to translate that over to my weight loss journey. And although I will probably always have those nagging insecurities, I just need to overcome them and no longer let them direct the path my life takes. Thanks so much for joining and being willing to lay it all out there and be honest. I truly think it is the first step on our journey. I am excited to have someone in my family join, we share the curse so many families do, a love of food. Hopefully with our success we can inspire more of our family members to join. Thanks for letting me ramble on, I tend to do that. Today I weigh 230 lbs. I will try to post a picture, I have loved seeing yours.
P.S. Jennifer P. I would be interested in your over eaters group, call me with the details.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Me Too, Me Too
You don't need to tell me twice to talk about myself! My name is Jen and I am fat. Scratch that, I am "a person of size" (that's what they call me in the airline regulations that require fat people to buy two seats). I am 36 years old, 5'9" and yesterday I weighed in at a whopping 288 pounds!!! (Do I win something for being the heaviest?!). Although, I think it's really more like 283 since I've been very bad at taking my high blood pressure medication that makes me pee a lot. (I know, overshare). I figure being under 200 is likely a pipe dream, but I'd like to be quite a bit farther away from 300. I did pass the 300 mark with both my pregnancies (pregnant at 275, delivered at 305) and it wasn't pretty.
I have been overweight since . . . hmm, well since forever. I crossed that 200 lb line when I was 14 years old ladies, and have not looked back since. My lowest adult weight was about 220 in college, I weighed 255 when I got married. I am active, I rarely drink pop and can usually pass up sweets. My downfall--basic overeating. I LOVE FOOD! I just plain eat too much of anything, healthy or otherwise. Oh, and I like fat too. Onion rings vs. dessert = onion rings hands down. And although I don't like being fat, I like myself and I love my life (most days). That combined with having no idea what it feels like to be thin means that I'm generally just not that motivated to do what I know I need to do. So, maybe y'all can help me because it's starting to catch up with my health in my blood pressure and knees.
Okay, so the rest of my life in a nutshell. I have two boys (3 and 6) and my husband is a camp director here in Michigan. We live on site and have acres and acres of trails and lakes and pasture and forest--you'd think I'd be all thin from romping around camp--but you've never visited the dining hall, where it's all you can eat every day. As food and housing is part of my husband's benefits package, I'm reluctant to stop going there--no shopping, cooking, cleaning or dishes is REALLY hard to pass up. So, I'm hoping that having some accountability here will help me stick wise dining hall choices--othewise I'm going to have to start shopping and cooking again. I saw a nutritionist once for a few months and lost 30 pounds, then I moved to camp and gained it back. I'm sure I can do this again. I digress, where was I? Oh, I work part time from home. I love to read, write, play the violin and swim (hard to convince myself to do when it's 7 degrees and snowing out, but I'm getting better). I have another blog where I like to write, so I'll stop blabbing on here--you can read my babbling there: http://www.image-jen.blogspot.com/ I avoid the camera as well and destroy all really bad shots, but if I find one, I'll post a pic too. Later.
I have been overweight since . . . hmm, well since forever. I crossed that 200 lb line when I was 14 years old ladies, and have not looked back since. My lowest adult weight was about 220 in college, I weighed 255 when I got married. I am active, I rarely drink pop and can usually pass up sweets. My downfall--basic overeating. I LOVE FOOD! I just plain eat too much of anything, healthy or otherwise. Oh, and I like fat too. Onion rings vs. dessert = onion rings hands down. And although I don't like being fat, I like myself and I love my life (most days). That combined with having no idea what it feels like to be thin means that I'm generally just not that motivated to do what I know I need to do. So, maybe y'all can help me because it's starting to catch up with my health in my blood pressure and knees.
Okay, so the rest of my life in a nutshell. I have two boys (3 and 6) and my husband is a camp director here in Michigan. We live on site and have acres and acres of trails and lakes and pasture and forest--you'd think I'd be all thin from romping around camp--but you've never visited the dining hall, where it's all you can eat every day. As food and housing is part of my husband's benefits package, I'm reluctant to stop going there--no shopping, cooking, cleaning or dishes is REALLY hard to pass up. So, I'm hoping that having some accountability here will help me stick wise dining hall choices--othewise I'm going to have to start shopping and cooking again. I saw a nutritionist once for a few months and lost 30 pounds, then I moved to camp and gained it back. I'm sure I can do this again. I digress, where was I? Oh, I work part time from home. I love to read, write, play the violin and swim (hard to convince myself to do when it's 7 degrees and snowing out, but I'm getting better). I have another blog where I like to write, so I'll stop blabbing on here--you can read my babbling there: http://www.image-jen.blogspot.com/ I avoid the camera as well and destroy all really bad shots, but if I find one, I'll post a pic too. Later.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Jennifer p
I'm Jennifer. 5'5", 231lbs, 33 yrs old. I have 2 children and I have a blog that I have never let anyone see, it has bad pics and is honest. I am a food addict and it really messes with me and how I want my life to be!! I will let you all into my dark world that is full of hope as far as the future goes. www.jenniferloosesit.blogspot.com. I share this with you so I can heal and move beyond the dark place I have inside me, for food. I joined yall because support groups and people I can be open with, really help me progress and reach my goals. I am very excited!!!
An intro to me ...
I loved that Christy put an introduction to herself. I know many of the people involved with this challenge, but I will put an intro anyway ...
I think Gwen (who started this blog) has known me the longest, and she can tell you that I've never been a skinny minny. In fact, I've never been thin. I was horrible about skipping lunch starting in middle school (is that where we met, Gwen?) so I could pocket the money for Teen Beat. I know, so worth it, right? :) Then I'd come home and eat whatever was handy (ie not healthy). This all added up to chunky teen years and beyond. I'd be the one on the Biggest Loser who tried to eat too little and ended up gaining. Sigh.
I am with Christy in not liking pics of myself. This is one reason I make sure I'm often the one with the camera. The funny thing is, though, that as I gain more weight I look back at old pictures and realize I didn't look THAT bad back then.
I'll post one here anyway -- I have make-up on so it's not as bad as others, but don't you just LOVE the rolls you can see? Without any chest to support that big stomach I constantly look pregnant. (Of course, now I am, but how can you tell since I look exactly the same?! :)
Good luck to us all in feeling better about ourselves by the end of this challenge. I am happy to have friends involved from so many aspects of my life (high school, mission, Seattle single days, Seattle married days, current Utah ward, and the only other woman in the world who can understand my MIL issues. :)
I think Gwen (who started this blog) has known me the longest, and she can tell you that I've never been a skinny minny. In fact, I've never been thin. I was horrible about skipping lunch starting in middle school (is that where we met, Gwen?) so I could pocket the money for Teen Beat. I know, so worth it, right? :) Then I'd come home and eat whatever was handy (ie not healthy). This all added up to chunky teen years and beyond. I'd be the one on the Biggest Loser who tried to eat too little and ended up gaining. Sigh.
I am with Christy in not liking pics of myself. This is one reason I make sure I'm often the one with the camera. The funny thing is, though, that as I gain more weight I look back at old pictures and realize I didn't look THAT bad back then.
I'll post one here anyway -- I have make-up on so it's not as bad as others, but don't you just LOVE the rolls you can see? Without any chest to support that big stomach I constantly look pregnant. (Of course, now I am, but how can you tell since I look exactly the same?! :)
Good luck to us all in feeling better about ourselves by the end of this challenge. I am happy to have friends involved from so many aspects of my life (high school, mission, Seattle single days, Seattle married days, current Utah ward, and the only other woman in the world who can understand my MIL issues. :)
This post was an accident I was posting to my doggie blog. However, now that I am here and cannot figure out the delete option maybe I'll make this an introduction instead. Hi! I am a friend of Denise. I am 37 years old and I have two children. I am 5.1 and weigh 180 pounds. I never had weight issues as a child but gained quite a bit after my second child was born. A lot of it had to do with depression. My mom bakes constantly and sweets are always on hand at her house. I'm mostly a stress and boredom eater though. When it gets frustrating around the house I grab a snack. I'm not a big meal eater and I don't eat pork or beef. I could cut down on calories in my meals but most of my excessive calories comes from sweets. I have a killer sweet tooth. I never was into soda but about a year ago I started with the soda. I am drinking diet coke right now but I don't think that is much better for us. Artificial sweetners I'm a little afraid of. I need to get out and exercise more. I do walk the dogs twice a day every day so I'm getting a bit of excercise. My walks are slow paced because my dogs have short little legs. So that is it. I'm glad to receive any advice and my feelings don't get hurt too easily (at least with weight issues). Part of my motivation is not just weight but I want to take nice pictures. Presently I go into a panic if anyone whips out a camera. Vanity, vanity, I know. I'm tired of hiding behind the camera instead of getting in front of it. My name is Christy btw. I know my name pops up with my doggie blog title. Nice to meet you guys!
This picture really upset me. I'm completely down about how big I look here. Looking at this I can't be in denial any longer.
A few more details ...
So here's who I have signed up for the challenge to date:
- Denise
- Brandi
- Melissa
- Jennifer B.
- Jennifer P.
- Gwen
- Marilee
- Christy
Okay, here are a few more details about how this works:
- Scores are kept from Monday through Sunday. Every Monday (starting next week) you will report the number of points you have earned by doing a post on this blog. (You should have all received invites to be authors for the blog. Let me know if this isn't the case and we'll figure it out.)
- You get one extra point for posting on the blog every Monday.
- You get one extra point if you lost any weight (not a point per pound, but a point total for any weight loss.)
- These extra points should be added to the next week's score. (It doesn't really matter too much which week you add it to, as long as you only add it once. :)
- Treats are going to be personally defined. You all know what you consider treats.
- You're all on your honor -- it's the only way this challenge can work.
- Don't forget to send me your money in by the end of week 4 so you're eligible for the pot. (And if you get it in by the end of week 2 you get 5 bonus points.)
- You are responsible to keep track of your own points throughout the challenge. This is why posting on the blog is a good idea -- then at the end you can just go back to your posts and add up the total.
- Total points must be posted by March 31, 2010 so that the winner can be announced by April 1, 2010. (Keep in mind I'm due April 1, so if there is a slight delay it doesn't mean the money isn't going to the winner ... it just means it's still sitting in an envelope while I'm a little busy in the hospital or something. :)
GOOD LUCK!!! I'm happy to have you all aboard. I need the accountability to eat healthier and to exercise more. I better go get started. :)
- Denise
- Brandi
- Melissa
- Jennifer B.
- Jennifer P.
- Gwen
- Marilee
- Christy
Okay, here are a few more details about how this works:
- Scores are kept from Monday through Sunday. Every Monday (starting next week) you will report the number of points you have earned by doing a post on this blog. (You should have all received invites to be authors for the blog. Let me know if this isn't the case and we'll figure it out.)
- You get one extra point for posting on the blog every Monday.
- You get one extra point if you lost any weight (not a point per pound, but a point total for any weight loss.)
- These extra points should be added to the next week's score. (It doesn't really matter too much which week you add it to, as long as you only add it once. :)
- Treats are going to be personally defined. You all know what you consider treats.
- You're all on your honor -- it's the only way this challenge can work.
- Don't forget to send me your money in by the end of week 4 so you're eligible for the pot. (And if you get it in by the end of week 2 you get 5 bonus points.)
- You are responsible to keep track of your own points throughout the challenge. This is why posting on the blog is a good idea -- then at the end you can just go back to your posts and add up the total.
- Total points must be posted by March 31, 2010 so that the winner can be announced by April 1, 2010. (Keep in mind I'm due April 1, so if there is a slight delay it doesn't mean the money isn't going to the winner ... it just means it's still sitting in an envelope while I'm a little busy in the hospital or something. :)
GOOD LUCK!!! I'm happy to have you all aboard. I need the accountability to eat healthier and to exercise more. I better go get started. :)
Sunday, January 3, 2010
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