Saturday, June 20, 2009

Am I ready?


Respectively, if social pressure worked we would all be thin after going to the pool and seeing the cute moms in bikinis. Or going to high school prom, or being married in a plus size dress. :)

I am not trying to be negative, I am just trying to figure this out for the long term. Look at Oprah. The queen of yo-yo dieting. With all the money and support she still hasn't got this down for good. Which, by the way, I just saw that they have come out and said that yo-yo dieting isn't bad for you. This was backed by solid research. I always thought that getting thin at times was better than just staying big.

I know how easy it is to have some success and look around and want everyone right there with you. I remember when I lost 50 pounds and was under 200, I was shopping and looking at people's butts and thinking how gross they were. Oh the cockiness!

I am now at a place where I know that this is all about personal readiness. No one can make you do it. I have tried to put my husband in charge of me. About the time I growled at him for telling me that I shouldn't eat something, he said never again. Everytime I get together with my thin sisters and my thin mother and thin aunt, my weight and happiness comes up. I just cannot be happy with all this weight on me. Life would be so much better and it really is about my health. They love me and only say somegthing because they want me here for a long time. My kids need me (no one in my family wants to raise 8 kids!). Tell me something I don't know. We all have all the best reasons in the world to lose the weight.

That being said, it will always be the very biggest struggle of my life. I have a strong sense of self. I think it is something I came with. I am able to love myself with all the weight. I KNOW I am a good person.

I am going to start my food journal on Monday. I will post the truth about my + or - the following Monday. I will try to have something great to report. Good luck to everyone else. And Gwen, keep on posting the GREAT results. You should love every minute of your success and celebrate yourself.


  1. Aubrey,
    I hope you know that I never meant to make any one feel pressure to lose the weight. Peer pressure sucks at being a motivator, and that is why we fail when we let that be out motivation. I'm just so excited to be on the right track, I was only hoping to give a gentle push in helping everyone else find that place within themselves. Sorry if you felt like I used you as an example from our conversation. We all need to find our personal reasons to help us make the changes we need. It will be hard, we both know it will be worth it because we are worth it.

  2. I really wasn't offended at all. I am reading this to my sister and she said she could never blog about her personal struggles. I am an open book and like this blog being about the truth of what I am going through. Let's both say what we think and have no hurt feelings. I love you and am glad you are my friend.